You Must Choose Your Own Path
Why was it possible for me to face shamanic initiation and roll with it, and not be overwhelmed by it? Because I had been initiated many times before, many times throughout my life. Those earlier initiations created a kind of inner coherence and resilience that served me so well later in life, as I leveled up, began doing shamanic work, and faced much more difficult tests.
One of the lessons I learned early in life — and thank goodness — is that you have to be willing to follow the call of your own heart and soul, even if you have to disappoint others to do so.
When I was in high school and starting to think about college applications, my father let it be known that he wanted me to go to the University of Pittsburgh and not go away to college. Well, I always liked Pitt, but I really was longing for new horizons and new places and experiences. As it turned out, I got into Harvard. And I thought, “Oh, now Dad HAS to be happy to let me go on my journey.”
Well, he was not that happy. When the day came for me to leave home, my mother and a beloved aunt were waiting outside in the car to drive me from Pittsburgh to Boston. I went to the front door with my small suitcase, and my father was nowhere to be found. He refused to come say goodbye.
I can still remember that caving-in feeling in my chest. But I gathered my eighteen-year-old self up, opened the door, and stepped out.
Fortunately, over time, Daddy got over his limiting assumptions and grew to express so much pride for my accomplishments. He died young, but he and I are still very close in Spirit.
The most important thing in this story was that I chose to do what my soul said was the right thing for me even at the risk of losing the support of people who loved me. Even the most important people. I have learned this truth again and again in life, and I have also witnessed this truth at play through my professional shamanic work with many clients — much suffering comes from repressing our natural feelings, talents, and desires. Traditional shamanism has long known about “soul illness,” a disease of being out of alignment with yourself and your truth.
